Bionic is a whole lot to unpack. Not just because there are a whopping 23 tracks, but because of how very puzzling this collection of songs is.

On Bionic, we have a tracklist of futuristic beats that genuinely did not sound like anything else out there at the time. Sprinkled in, we’ve got five ballads that forcibly pull you right out of the electro-pop mood the album so carefully sets. The only ballad that genuinely tugs the heartstrings is Lift Me Up. The rest fall victim to the skip button.

In a world where Lady Gaga never existed, would Bionic have received the justice it (mostly) deserves? Xtina says of the record:

“ahead of its time… You had to really be a music lover, be a true fan of music and the love of being open to really appreciate that record.”

This may be true, but it’s alienating for the artist herself to make that claim. Let others decide what it takes to be a true fan of music. With the 13-track version above, I can appreciate Bionic a whole lot more.

Songs cut: Elastic Love has the makings of an excellent song if it wasn’t for the strange obsession with metaphors for office supplies. I’ve also cut all three intros: Love & Glamour (Intro), Morning Dessert (Intro), and My Heart (Intro). Only one ballad survived, meaning we had to lose Stronger Than Ever, You Lost Me, I Am, and All I Need (this record is clearly made for the gays, and we don’t want to hear about babies.) Also cut: My Girls.

Best song: Woohoo